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Holy Ghost

by Modern Baseball

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about

The first album recorded by someone other than the band themselves, Modern Baseball enlisted Joe Reinhart (Hop Along, Joyce Manor) at Headroom Studios in Philadelphia to help refine their sound on Holy Ghost. In a tight 28 minutes, Holy Ghost covers an impressive emotional range, with co-songwriters Jacob Ewald and Brendan Lukens literally splitting the record in half. The record kicks off with six songs from Ewald and ends with five from Lukens. What they ended up with was a complete record of the past two years– the highs alongside the lows, tales from the road and glorious days at home alongside songs of heartbreak and personal struggle.

credits

released May 13, 2016

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Track Name: Holy Ghost
He’s been haunting my dreams at night
I’ve been bleeding from tripping in the dark
Trying to turn on the light
He’s been haunting my dreams, alright
I’ve been hollering at him in the dark
Trying to find the right switch
My third wish has always been three more
But this time my holy ghost is hovering over me
And I am passed out on the floor
Track Name: Wedding Singer
Find it hard to believe tonight
In a curiously well-kept house built before I was born
This year we’re gonna stamp out the sorry feeling
Rain on summer vacation
Five blocks from Tasker-Morris station
Fucked for the ride home if I can’t find two bills
To rub together before

Midnight rolls around
I thought you heard me sing your spirit sound
But you turned in early
Left the TV flickering its staged romance across your face

Said goodbye from the front porch
I always wonder if you’re smiling at us or if you’re looking away
I’d ask but either way I feel sorry for you
Locked your love in a screenshot
They all work that way
And I’ve been wishing I could say that I don’t
The selfish side likes to think my execution’s more
Of an honest one
These artists all cut cloth with underscored conviction
Blacked out friction flies me back to Baltimore
To wait for you but I’m stuck here too
Track Name: Note To Self
Holt’s above my hideout
I dug this hole beneath the floorboards
Buzzing bad and locked in
Try to not recall
Counting numbered days from the wheel we cried to clutch
Looking for some inspired land
But all I found were empty cans and cigarette butts
Lining dirty parking lots in Ottawa
Glazed eyes, trying to rub away at the sketches of the Daytime. When every second of sun’s the same,
Whats the point of staying awake?

Your hands are out and I see
You’re asking me for a vowel but I am weak and I am stubborn
So I say “This is all I have right now”

But I want to make something good
I want to make something better
Something that cannot leave the ground
Unless we lift it up together

Where I want to be still seems a thousand miles away
But pretending we feel safe right here gets harder every day
It’s a note to self mislaid
You ate the words you always used to say
There will be no more fucking around today
Drunk and worthless, spewing bullshit all across the stage
Wake up and we find new hiding places
Trying desperately to escape
(I don’t believe you, you’re all the same)
The glare from our stupid, spineless
Words just whining, every fucking day
What do I really want to say?
Track Name: Mass
Pulled over at midday
The joker’s still wet behind the ears
He hands off a novel of novice citations
Outside the service station
The glue sets beneath our heels

My baby’s in Massachusetts
And all this booze is useless
Sunset sing my scratched out sighing soul to sleep
And the cashier here is ruthless
Jeanette, I wrote your name down
But I’d hate that job as much as you do
If I was stuck between Barton and Bighamton too

Days like this I miss listening to records
Making coffee together, snow globes and jersey sheets
I tried sleeping in our bed without you last night
But that didn’t work at all because I couldn’t sleep

Sometimes I wish it was still last summer
And you still lived in South Philly
And I wasn’t playing a show in Nebraska
Or Austin, Texas
Asking the kids what they ate for breakfast

But here I am, Valero bathroom
Who’s paid to keep these things cliche?
Bury me beneath New York State
Because it’s the only place where I feel dead
Track Name: Everyday
You hold my hand
You hold your liquor
Projection screen
Had ceased it’s flicker
You gave me tiny
Tastes of your truth
I was starved
And you were full

I drove back home
When you got sicker
Disputing claims
That you still held
The TV clicker
Annas face was flushed
It’s still in my mind
The waiter asked
If she was high

You need to hide
It’s in your framework
Look me in the eyes
And act like I don’t know how shame works
Your compass spins in reverse
The trees do time lapse speed growth
Your sky is lost behind
A sea of green

She’s acting like she knows what’s up
She’s dripping that devoted stuff
Breaking like her bread won’t puff
She’s sipping from that holy cup

Waking up every day is all about
Doing things you don’t want to do
But your reward is you get to wake up
Track Name: Hiding
Take the train to Frankford
I won’t answer when they call
I guess that’s just my gift to myself
Drank a lot and danced to The Cure
Holding on for dear life
To the frayed edge of a feeling we misplaced years ago
And knowing we should really get back home

Made mistakes
The plants died young, like all good things
But I wish my small self had known
How much water to use
Still some nights I find
The ideas that bring me rest
Are the ones that used to prod and pester and keep me up
Swinging open doors I swore I’d shut

Pouring pewter
Amassing coins to displace debt to you
My straight-line shooter
Let me learn here
I am in pursuit of all I can undo

Entertain the cancer
We all answer upwards either way
The waiting game is tied again
Backs of hands and phrases
Misplaced gazes
Things we still deny to selves and hesitate to talk about

A call from high school two drinks in
I smiled but you could not see
Your tin can cell receiver Hummed its New York static song
The lever pulled and all at once
The floor was false
The center seam divided
Lace and well-pressed cotton
Found the flood we’d since forgotten
We still leave our shoes at the door
Before we wring out our wet clothes
Across your floor and future

Stitch the gaps that destiny assumed
With floral sutures
Are you hiding or have I abandoned you?
Track Name: Coding These To Lukens
“It’s not just what you say
Or how you’ve come so far
The words that you repeat
When time tears us apart
That smug look on your face
When you have something to hide
Or at least that’s what I think
Maybe I’m out of touch
You can tell me if I’m wrong
But you know I’m right”

Spit fire, spit blood, spit fast--I’m heated
I’m sure this won’t linger...longer than it has to...
Get out of my way
Steadfast, I’m fiending
I’m a certain kind of way tonight

I know it can’t be in my head
It must be one of you
Who keep pulling me aside
To chit chat about me, who I am,
What the deal is with who I was once
Track Name: Breathing In Stereo
I can’t help thinking about you this whole ride home
From Alberta, Portland to wherever I’ll soon unfold
Into oblivion or somewhere between here and fact
Forever waiting for you...

Ever-aching cause I’m
Longing for when I’ll be coming back to you.

Hopeless, I’m fading
It’s the same damn thing every night
Planning our future without you, without me at times
But hey I...digress
What I was saying before is more important
I’m longing for when I’ll be coming back to you

Why does it take two thousand miles for me to say
“I love you”

Burn Out by day, Lover by night
I’m not the same as I was but that’s cool, whatever
Burned out by days without you
I’m lost, forlorn I can’t do this alone
Alone, I feel safe
Still with you I’m safe, intact and hopeful
We’ll make it together
Track Name: Apple Cider, I Don't Mind
Did you ever love me?
Biopsy from the origin of sound
Confirms your speaking truthfully
Concludes everything I’ve thought about
Is this past or present?
I can’t seem to make it all out
Boisterous betrayal of fun and heat of the moment
Betrayal; what have I done now?

You think we can make it?
Well I wish I felt the same way I did then
Homesick, just waiting
To return to you and your bed
Is this past or present?
I can’t seem to make it all out
Boisterous betrayal of fun and heat of the moment
Betrayal; what have I done now?

It’s not like me to forgive and move on
Always looking back on my mistakes and others
Too distant to see where I went wrong
Well if you say this is forever then tell me this is forever
Track Name: What If...
When I was “younger”
I thought of caring
As a reason for some to praise me, in envy
“So humble and kind”
“No better person”
Now that I’m “older” I’ve seen what I’ve been
Ruthless, ungrateful, always trying to turn up tracks
Be it about me or you

Seeking out the faithful in me
With tricks of trust and gluttony
I won’t wait for anyone anymore

When I was younger I thought of deep space
Pick me up swiftly, carry me away
Drop me off willing--light years lone gone
Never again seeing those who I loved
It’s not about me this time, there I go lying again
Please save my soul
I don’t know what I’m doing anymore
Seeking out the faithful in me with singles and a pen
Is it possible I’m overthinking this

It’s not what I’m not it’s what I believe in
It’s not what I’ve got, it’s my peace of mind
Too early to see if I’m still in the past
Too hopeful to be wasted time
It’s not what I’m not it’s what I believe in
It’s not what I’ve got, it’s my peace of mind
Too early to see if I’ll be

Seeking out the fraud in me
With compassion and honesty, I’ll wait….
Track Name: Just Another Face
I’m a waste of time and space
Drifting through my selfish ways
I don’t know how I got here
Travel light endlessly
Distort all reality
I can’t say how I got here

I’m a waste of time and space
Meandering unwanted days
I don’t know how I got here
Entering a well known phase
I scream get lost, I hate everything
I can’t say how I got here

Still, I can feel the need to change me from the inside
But I can’t let anyone know just yet

“If it’s all the same it’s time to confront this face to face
I’ll be with you the whole way
It’ll take time, that’s fact
I’m not just another face, I’m not just another name
Even if you can’t see it now
We’re proud of; what is to come, and you”

I’m a waste of time and space
Slipping past with getaways
I’ve planned for days, for weeks, for years
I’m a waste of rock and dirt
Grass and ground
And all the earth around me
Around you